January 12 - Happiness is a choice!
Years ago, my Mom had a book called "Happiness is a Choice" by Meier and Minirth. It is a Christian prescription for depression, based on scriptural help. Well, my Mom may or may not have read it, but I didn't. I just saw her life and believe to this day that she made this choice but with a very special Helper. Let me explain.
My Mother was a happy person. Until the day she died, she gave off joy. And her happiness was certainly not based on her circumstances. Imagine difficulties of all kinds and my Mom had them. Here is a brief overview. Mom was the youngest of four sisters, all of them delightful in different ways. She was the baby, however, and you would have expected her to be a spoiled brat, but she wasn't. All four sisters were married to nice men, and by the world's standards her sisters' husbands were all more successful than Daddy. However, my Mom married "Prince Charming" to me, my siblings and to her. There was no comparison in my mind. I adored my uncles, but Daddy was unique, wonderful, brilliant, and he adored his children and especially my Mom. My parents never argued because Daddy just didn't "do" that, and my Mom finally gave up trying to "fight" with him, so they lived in harmony most of the time. Mom got the "ace of spades" in husbands. But in 1988, Daddy died suddenly. Mom was on her own. I never once heard her complain. She just picked herself up, found a job at the age of 58, and worked hard at it, making new friends and facing widowhood with her usual pleasant attitude. Oh, she missed her best friend terribly, but never asked for pity, not my Mom. She was like that.
Then health issues became a problem. She was in a terrible car accident in 1981. This accident left my Mom with scar tissue in her lungs, but a terrible scar on her heart. Her six year old granddaughter was killed in the accident. Losing Martha, even though the accident was not my Mom's fault, was the kind of horrific devastation that most people could not have overcome. The loss of her granddaughter was probably the worst event that ever happened to Mom, but she overcame it and helped the rest of us accept it, also. Her courage amazed me. But that physical scar continued to plague her. Mom's breathing problems worsened as she aged and became chronic. Other terrible maladies assailed her, too, like gout. That is just awful, terrible and painful…also, it can be chronic. Then, she got shingles which is the curse of the devil. (Run, don't walk, to get a vaccine for that) Chronic diverticulosis haunted her, breathing worsened, her mobility was limited, and health issues just assailed her on every front.
But here is the thing: My Mom was happy. If you knew her, you would agree. No matter how much pain she had, she looked on the bright side. If she couldn't find one in her life, she looked for one in yours. When you saw her or called her and asked how she felt, she touched on her own problems lightly. Then, she quickly moved to her listener… no matter who it was. "How are you doing?" she would ask. And she really cared. She actually listened and tried to help. Always. Even when she was dying, it was never about her. She worried about the inconvenience she was causing those around her. Wondered who was babysitting for my daughters when they came to visit, for example. Didn't want anyone to drive in bad weather to see her or take time away from their own families. Even when she was spending her last twenty four hours on earth, she looked around the lovely hospice room and asked me, "Margaret, how much money is this costing you?" "And how are you, sweet girl?" I wanted to scream out, "I'm terrible, my Mom is sick, dying, and I can't fix this!" I can still see those big, brown eyes, looking at me, full of love and never complaining, not even then. Ever!
So, Mom believed she had a choice to be happy, and she took it. She was never bitter about what she did not have financially or physically, but grateful for all she did have. I want to be like her. I know other people (very well) who have everything on earth, but continue to choose unhappiness. Bitterness and regret mark their days. I want to be like Mom, not just because she was my Mom, but because she made a choice to dance in love all of her days! But how?
Here is a quote from my friend, Ron Holland, about this decision which gives us the key: "True happiness, I believe, is a sense of inner peace even in the midst of the trials of life, when some folks still seem to have a certain amount of quiet dignity, grace and peace surrounding them. Have you ever wondered how they can have that kind of persona? I believe it is because they know the Prince of Peace and have received the Comforter sent by Him to guide them in all truth."
"If you love me, show it by doing what I've told you. I will talk to the Father, and He'll provide you another Friend so that you will always have someone with you. This Friend is the Spirit of Truth. The godless world can't take him in because it doesn't have eyes to see him, doesn't know what to look for. But you know him already because he has been staying with you, and will even be in you!" John 14:15 The Message Bible
Prayer:
Father, help us to choose happiness today, the true happiness you give through living joyfully this day in You! Let us give off the tender mercies of the Holy Spirit living in us. Amen