January 2 - Overheard Praise
Overheard praise! There is no more effective praise than that which is overheard! Take a closer look at one of my resolutions for 2013. It is number 3 on my list: to encourage someone every day. I just can't let this one go until I give you an example of how this impacted my life. Here is what happened to me.
I grew up in the tiniest house you can imagine.There were basically only four rooms. No wonder my Mom always said, "Go outside and play!" And she meant all day! There wasn't much room for privacy or secrets in our home. The bedroom my sister and I shared was right next to the kitchen and the walls were thin. My Dad left at 5:30 am for work, and it seemed we were always asleep while they talked. One morning, I overheard an interesting conversation between my parents. I must have been 7 years old at the time because of the discussion. My parents were talking about me! Of course, I then became wide awake, straining to hear what they were saying. My Mom told my Daddy that the teacher, Mrs. Polk, thought I was very smart and could just skip the second grade! Wow, skipping the second grade was not that big a deal to me, but being called "smart" was amazing. You see our school, like our house, was small. Adamsville School was a three room school with grades 1-3 in one room, 4-6 in another, and 7-8 in the third. There were three teachers for about thirty kids total. When I was in first grade, the teacher would give us an assignment to do while she taught second grade, then third grade got the same treatment. Apparently, I had become bored and just joined in with the second graders. Remember this was a poor community with a lot of migrant workers who travelled around picking pecans and doing other seasonal farming jobs. Some of the children at my school were only there for the winter months, and then they left to help their parents. Sadly, many of them never got past 8th grade. No one thought much about the unfairness of this, and many of the workers stayed in temporary houses (like shacks) on the farm where I grew up. My being ahead of these poor children wasn't saying a lot about my intellect, but I do credit an awesome Mom, Dad and extended family who valued education above all things. And I already knew how to read. On days when it was too messy to "go outside and play" my Mom read to us and I learned to read from her. Ok, that is the background of the situation.
Adamsville School was an amazing place. We had terrific teacher, a small "family" of students and lots of attention. And guess what? I overheard that I was smart! I proceeded to try to be smart, because I believed it. No one told it to my face, but I overheard it! That is the key.
This is the point. If someone praises you to your face, it doesn't feel very true. That could be flattery. But what is said behind your back, those words you accidentally overhear, those are usually pure, honest, sometimes painful, unvarnished truth. We may not like what we hear, but it is clearly what people really think about us. And overheard praise is the most believable kind. It can be life-changing, heart-stopping and powerful! It can build one up or tear one down. Attempt this exercise today. It works especially well with children, but I have tried it on adults, too. Even 92 year olds like to hear good things about themselves! Be sure they are within hearing distance; speak loudly or whisper where they can hear, which is always attention-getting. One basic, non-negotiable rule is that the statement has to be true, not fabricated. Find that true nugget in your child, spouse or friend, and let them overhear you speak well of them. Sit back, then, and watch the blessings descend, the quality blossom, and the growth of the nature of the person occur. Let me know if you try this and how it works out for you. Another little idea, is to jot down a poem or idea on a slip of paper. Leave it lying around and let them "accidentally" find it. Same idea! After all, this poor little country girl heard she was smart! Don't burst my bubble, ok? It made we work hard enough to do well in school and that was a miracle to me!
"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." Hebrews 10:23-25
Pray:
Dear Father, Let us speak praise of the praiseworthy today. Give us Your eyes to see others as You see them. Show us the ones among us who need a kind word or an encouraging thought to spur them on to be the best You designed them to be.
Amen
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