Did you know? "Sons are just different."
"Boys will be boys, you know, and you can't treat them like daughters, ever!"
"Now, aren't you the lucky one to have just girls; they are so much easier!"
"What a blessing to have someone who 'gets' you and can go shopping with you!"
"So, what kind of a mother in law do you plan to be?"
We mothers are subject to a lot of cliches, aren't we? I've been thinking about these sayings for many years. Some of these says I have even seen as cartoons and some on an embroidered sampler! Ever since I became the mother of a son after having two girls, it has been a mystery to me. This post is not an easy one. In my BSF group yesterday, I heard the following from the mother of grown male children, "Mothers of boys need extra prayers." Really? Do you believe any of the statements I just wrote?
As most of you know I am blessed, immeasurably, with three children; two girls and then a boy born in 1979. In those days, you didn't always know for sure if you were having a boy or a girl. In the delivery room the announcement came: "It's a boy!" This totally surprised me! I so adored my darling baby girls and was concerned how I would do as the Mommy of a boy. Are boy Mommy's different? Do they need to be athletic? Or extra tough? And does it really matter? The answer is the delightful "yes" and "no!" That really helps, doesn't it? So think about this: It really, really doesn't matter! I mean it! Here is why.
Today I am going to address a difficult topic that I wish I could avoid. I wish it didn't exist. There are precious ones among us who are so desperate to be a Mommy that they have no preference. A baby is their choice. You know, the one they pray for, think about and yearn for with all their being. The conversational questions I just posed above would be hurtful to them...very painful. What are we thinking? Those of us who have never struggled with infertility skip merrily through this silly argument of girls vs. boys with never a thought (usually) of the ones who are in the background with broken hearts. Please let us be sensitive to them, especially when this time of the year it is all about the baby, the baby Jesus. And our suffering friends have to hear us grumble about not getting a boy or a girl. Would they care? Not for one second! Because a baby is the desire of their hearts.
Yesterday, I heard a lady speak who had dealt with infertility. She said that all she wanted was one, one precious baby to take a photo of and put on her Christmas card. To love forever! Even after many years and the fulfillment of her deepest prayers by being blessed with children, the pain in her voice was still there. The depth of this pain is remarkable. Since I did not experience this particular disappointment, the compassion I feel for them comes from a different place than my own personal experience. How does that happen? Jesus gives us a heart like His to feel the pain of another, to hurt with them and to want to comfort them. He allows us to minister to them with true, not fake, compassion. To lack for words, but give without speaking, a heart of love for your friends. He is doing that for me. I was not born with an overly sympathetic nature, as many of you know (especially my children). But, slowly God is changing that part of me to be more like Him. Ok, I didn't say He was finished, but He has brought me so far that it amazes me. Allowing us to feel the utmost love for the hurting is what I wish for us today. I believe it will make all the difference. So. boy or girl? It really makes no difference. Jesus healing love? All the difference!
"Those who live in love live in God." 1 John 4:16
Pray:
Father, create in us a heart so empathetic and full of love that it spills over to minister to the hurting among us. Give us sensitivity to the loss in our midst and mindful of the needs of others.
Amen
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